It is difficult these days to find someone who hasn’t been on the Internet at least once in their life. When the Internet was still new, it would have been helpful to have some “Welcome to the Internet” handbook. The Internet has changed so much that in 2009, I have decided to provide a beginner’s guide. Think of it as a fresh reminder of what the Internet is really about, from A to Z.
A
A is for AOL: A deserted place where people went to connect to the Internet in the 1990s.
B
B is for Baidu: The Chinese Google. Be prepared for it to become huge.
C
C is for Craigslist: A place where scams are commonplace and prostitutes roam free.
D
D is for Domain Squatting: Turning $2.95 into $3 million.
E
E is for eBay: A place to find stuff you never knew existed, but always wanted.
F
F is for Facebook: One of the only places where you and your parents have the same friends and a place where your life is destroyed.
G
G is for Google: The company that takes pictures of your house from a satellite.
H
H is for Hulu: Your new television set. Hopefully it remains free
I
I is for Illegal Downloading: What everyone does to get their music, movies, and video games.
J
J is for j/k: A way to say something serious and tell someone how you really feel about them but then take it all back.
K
K is for Kilobyte: The max capacity of a computer in the 1980′s
L
L is for LOL: A way to make someone feel better by virtually laughing at what they said. Sometimes comes after a j/k.
M
M is for MySpace: A place where underage girls dress like they are in their mid 20′s.
N
N is for .net: For when you can’t afford the .com.
O
O is for OMG: A way to fake surprise and sound like a teenage girl.
P
P is for porn: The Internet is really all about porn, self-explanatory.
Q
Q is for Quantcast: A way to find out if the people coming to your website are slacking off at work.
R
R is for RapidShare: A place to trade and download above mentioned porn.
S
S is for Spam: The majority of emails in our inboxes.
T
T is for Twitter: Your life summed up in 140 characters or less.
U
U is for Username: How a 60 year old man can be mistaken for lilcutie60.
V
V is for Viral Videos: See YouTube.
W
W is for Wikipedia: A place to find life’s answers and skip the encyclopedia.
X
X is for XOXO: A way to show your love for someone else via random letters.
Y
Y is for YouTube: A place to post a video of your cat playing piano.
Z
Z is for Z: Add this to the end of words to make yourself look hip and cool, but in actuality making you sound like a 12 year old boy. Coolz.
OMG!! I LOVE THIS!! LOL!!!
Now, I’m off to go find porn!
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