Part 2 of Fake Facebook Status Updates of Historical People is here.

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In the Facebook game FarmVille, you can collect animals. As they stay on your farm, they slowly collect certain things. For example, for a cow, you can collect their milk once they reach 100%. For chickens, you can collect eggs. However, what if the game reflected the animal’s real life uses?

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What if the characters of Star Wars had updating their Facebook statuses during the climatic battles and adventures? Well, here is a sample of what the Facebook News Feed would look like during Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace.

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The Facebook application FarmVille launched in June 2009 and in just a few short months, it has become the number one played game on Facebook. At the time of this writing, it has over 73 million active users. For those who don’t know what FarmVille is, it is a simulation game where players can plant, grow and harvest crops, animals, and trees on their very own farm. Here are 10 ways how FarmVille would change the world if it was real.

1.) World Hunger Would Be Solved

If crops were able to be harvested in 4 hours, or 16 hours, then world hunger would be solved. We would be swimming in surpluses of strawberries, yellow melons, and pumpkins. Oddly enough, the obesity rate would increase as hunger decreased.

2.) World “Trade” Would Skyrocket, Economies Would Boom

With the ability to send and receive “gifts” on FarmVille, the world economy would go into a giant boom as goats, apple trees, and horses are exchanged all over the world.

3.) Time Management Would Be Second Nature To Everyone

Everyone in the world would know when to harvest their crops, and would plan what crops to be planted based on their daily schedule. If you didn’t know how to manage your crops, you would be punished by having to see them wither.

4.) Everyone Would Live Next To You

It would be possible for some people to have 50 neighbors within a few acres of each other. Security and other safety measures would be unneeded as neighbors will let others walk onto their farms and fertilize their crops and get rid of foxes. (Ironically enough, the world would have major fox and raccoon problems).

5.) The Environment Would Be Cleaner

Not everyone would decide to use a plow or harvester, which requires precious fuel to use. Millions of farmers would do all their hard work by hand, thus sparing the Earth of dangerous chemicals and greenhouse gases.

6.) There’d Be No Need To Wonder Where Pink Milk Came From

This is simple. Regular milk would come from regular cows. Chocolate milk would come from brown cows. Strawberry milk would come from pink cows. Milktonium would come from green cows. Oh, and black chickens would only lay black eggs and brown chickens would only lay brown eggs. No one would question this. Ever.

7.) Bales of Hay Would Become the World’s #1 Decorative Material

Not just regular yellow bales of hay, but green bales, red bales, blue bales, white bales, and even black bales. Bales would become a way for a farmer to express themselves artistically. Topiaries would also be en vogue. You’d be a poser unless you had an ostrich or flamingo topiary on your land.

8.) Everyone Would Be Wealthy and Paper Money Loses Importance

Almost every single farmer and person would have thousands of coins available to buy almost anything they wanted and to buy new crops. Bankruptcy would not exist.

9.) Some Decorative Objects Would Serve No Purpose In Life

That butter churn you bought looks great, but you can’t use it to churn butter. You can’t use that greenhouse. You can’t use that windmill. It’s like fake fruit in model homes. It’s just there to look pretty.

10.) Zynga Would Be The Only Corporation and Government

The Earth might just be unified under one flag, the Zynga Flag. Zynga would be the name of this new country. Zynga would also be the head of state, making all decisions on when people would be allowed to celebrate holidays and then authorizing the use of holiday items. Strangely enough, Zynga would also create new species as time went on, such as baby turkeys, and then subsequently make that animal go extinct 7 days later.

There is hope, even in a FarmVille world. We can all rebel, and decide to not sell our preciously harvested crops to Zynga. Instead, we can take those crops and use them in ingredients to start our own line of cafes…

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Everyone and their mom is on Facebook now. With over 350 million users (and growing) now on the site, there are bound to be some interesting and noteworthy stories and events involving Facebook and its users. So without further ado, here are 8 incredible Facebook stories.

1.) Burglar robs home, logs into Facebook, and forgets to log out

In Pennsylvania, Jonathan Parker was just doing a routine breaking and entering job. He breaks into the house and steals two diamond rings. Before leaving though, the 19-year-old logged in to his Facebook account. After being on Facebook, he takes the diamond rings and leaves. One problem – He forgot to log out of his Facebook account on the house computer. The police were able to track him down after finding out his name and location on his Facebook that was left logged in. He is facing a maximum 10 year prison sentence if found guilty.

2.) Girl adds boss as friend on Facebook and is fired for talking smack about him in her status update

Just another reason to make sure you know who your friends are on Facebook before you talk about them.

3.) Married man travels 9 hours to meet mistress only to discover it was a prank

39-year-old Stuart Slann traveled over 9 hours to a farm in Scotland to meet what he thought was a woman named Emma. He and Emma had been exchanging flirty messages on Facebook for several weeks. Emma texted him to tell him to wait 3 more hours as she was getting out of work late. Unfortunately, Emma never existed. Emma was the concoction of two men who were fans of Liverpool F.C. (a soccer team). Slann was a fan of rival Manchester United. The trio originally met while on vacation in Mexico and the two Liverpool fans actually threw Slann into a pool and broke his ankle while in Mexico. Once they returned to the U.K., they decided to play a prank on Slann. After Slann’s long wait in Scotland, they called him to reveal it was a hoax, but they were not done yet. They put the recorded phone conversation on Facebook and YouTube and his wife discovered it. They are now divorced.

4.) Couple with same name meet on Facebook and get married

Kelly Hildebrandt, a 20-year-old Florida student, was bored one night so she decided to search her name on Facebook to see if anyone had her name. Her search revealed someone – A male Kelly Hildebrandt from Texas. She messaged him saying “Hi. We have the same name. Thought it was cool.” After months of exchanging emails, phone calls, and text messages, the male Kelly visited the female Kelly in Florida and eight months after exchanging their first email, they got engaged. The rest is history. Oh, and don’t worry, they are not related.

5.) Woman arrested after poking someone on Facebook

Shannon Jackson “poked” another woman on Facebook and found herself in handcuffs soon after. The woman who was poked had previously issued an order of protection against Jackson. An order of protection prohibits someone from contacting or communicating with someone in any way, shape, or form. Jackson’s poke was seen as a violation of the order of protection, and can be punishable with up to a year in jail.

6.) A mother and son reunite on Facebook after 27 years

In 1982, Avril Grube had her son abducted by his own father and taken to live in Hungary. She lived in England. She didn’t see or hear from her son Gavin for another 27 years. After an almost 30 year search, Avril’s sister decided to look for Gavin on Google. The Google search led to his Facebook profile, and after a few months, the 30-year-old Gavin finally was reunited with his mother after 27 years.

7.) Groom updates his Facebook relationship status and Twitter at the altar

(The link to the video is at the bottom of the article)

8.) The U.S. Secret Service discovers uninvited guests were at White House state dinner via Facebook

When the White House hosted a state dinner for the Prime Minister of India, two people were not on the guest list and were let in to the party. They mingled with the President, the Vice President, and numerous other significant political and cultural figures. Michaele Salahi later posted the pictures from the event on her Facebook fan page. Once they were up, the Secret Service realized that they were not supposed to even be let in the door, let alone shaking the President’s hand. Criminal charges are being sought against the couple, but the pictures on their Facebook page remain for all to see. You can check the pictures out on their fan page.

Image & Video Sources:

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A ton of incredible and news worthy stories and events have occurred since the calendar switched over to October. If only they had been Tweeted about, as they were occurring. Without further ado, here is the final Fake Tweets from Real People for 2009 (about events from October-December).

RealTigerWoods is feeling a little hungry tonight. Might make a quick stop over to Perkins for a late night snack.
11:37 PM Nov 8th from TwitterBerry

RealTigerWoods I love Las Vegas. Not just for the cocktails though…
10:43 PM Oct 13th from TwitterBerry

BalloonBoy6 If anyone asks, I’m in the cardboard box in the attic, okay?
11:30 AM Oct 15th from web

Microsoft Please submit all your Windows 7 system errors to Microsoft.com!
9:34 AM Oct 22nd from web

OfficialNewMoon Look, the only reason you’re going to come to this movie is if you’re forced to or if you want to see annoying teenagers complain about love.
12:00 AM Nov 20th from API

NASA We are about to blow up a part of the Moon. Please excuse our dust.
5:05 AM Oct 9th from web

RealAllenIverson Wants to play anywhere but @MemphisGrizzlies. I don’t want to be on the bench, I don’t want to practice, and I don’t want to be underpaid.
3:14 PM Nov 7th from Echofon

Salahis Just shook the President’s hand and took pictures with VP Biden! I’m so in shock right now.
7:02 PM Nov 24th from Tweetie

NYYankees #27 in the books. We love buying championships. Who should we buy for next year?
11:03 PM Nov 4th from web

USDeptofHHS At the rate the health care bill is going, we will all require prosthetics by the time it’s signed. They will not be covered under the new plan.
1:48 PM Dec 5th from TweetDeck

RealTigerWoods Disappearing for a while, but I’ll be fine. If Kobe can do it, why can’t I?
7:01 PM Dec 11th from TwitterBerry

WalMart Official deals for Black Friday are here! The stuff you never knew you wanted but always saw on shelves will be on sale!
4:00 AM Nov 27th from HootSuite

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Wouldn’t it be great if we had a time machine and could go back in time to talk to some of history’s most important and influential people, or at least get the chance to talk to them on Facebook? Well, now you get that chance to see what some of history’s most important people would have said on their Facebook Status Updates.

Continue on to part 2

Note: This post may be updated from time to time as more historical people are added to the list.

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