Mascots are usually the human embodiment of a brand. It is a way for everyone to connect with a brand in their own way through the mascot. As we all know though, sometimes mascots for brands just don’t make sense. Other times, the mascot makes us not want to buy the brand because the mascot is well…a little creepy. With that in mind, I present to you the 9 creepiest commercial mascots. Starting with number 9…
9.) Mr. Peanut
Why he’s creepy:
Anyone who has a monocle just seems creepy to me. It’s like he knows something that you don’t know. Or maybe he’s undressing you with his eyes and he likes what he sees. Who knows what he hides under his top hat? Maybe it’s a condom? Or it could even be a sub-machine gun and he will go on a killing rampage. I really don’t know. Mr. Peanut is one just one of those guys you don’t want to meet alone in back alley. You could get raped or killed. Or both.
8.) Colonel Sanders
Why he’s creepy:
It’s not that the Colonel himself is creepy. It’s the fact that anyone you run into that looks like Colonel Sanders ends up creeping you out. We all do it. We all know at least one guy that looks like the Colonel. We mock him for the way he looks. Besides, isn’t it time that KFC turn to a new mascot? An old guy with crazy white hair making fried chicken isn’t exactly the most appealing, especially since we consider old guys that have crazy white hair to be mad scientists.
7.) Kool-Aid Man
OH YEAH!!!
Why he’s creepy:
Okay, I realize that the Kool-Aid Man is not going to give anyone more shivers than say, Mr. Peanut would. However, he’s creepy because he is always breaking through walls and screaming “Oh, Yeah!” Just think about that for a second. What if a stranger broke down your living room wall and just starting screaming “Oh, Yeah!” while holding a red liquid. It could be Kool-Aid. It could be blood. I don’t know what’s in there. Only Kool-Aid Man knows the answer.
6.) Wendy
Why she’s creepy:
In case you don’t know the story, Wendy’s founder Dave Thomas named the restaurant chain after his daughter. The logo even looks like her. In case you haven’t seen the real picture of Wendy, click here. If that doesn’t creep you out, then I don’t know what will. There’s just something about ginger children that make us get goosebumps. They are most likely evil. At least Wendy’s mascot is not as bad as other restaurant chains (hint hint).
5. CEO Jack in the Box
Don't ride with strangers
Why he’s creepy:
What is Jack? Is he a human/ice cream hybrid? A clown gone wrong? We may never find out, but it makes him all the creepier. He looks like the type of guy who would buy you an ice cream cone, then try to touch you inappropriately. His never ceasing smile just glares at you, and he never blinks either. If someone did that to you, wouldn’t you be freaking out a little bit? The suit doesn’t help his cause either because a suit signifies power, and he might coerce you into a little romp and then you’ll get to find out what’s in his “box”.
4.) Grimace
What is he??
Why he’s creepy:
First off, no one knows what species Grimace belongs. Is he a chicken nugget that has mold on it? He sort of looks like Barney, but de-evolved. Either way, I don’t want him around my food. He’s a constant reminder of what you will look like if you eat too much fast food. Not knowing what he is makes him creepy because you don’t know what he can do to you with his purple body and short limbs. I’d rather not find out. Oh yeah, and Grimace steals your milk shakes too. What a jerk.
3.) Quizno’s Rat
Hold the plague
Why it’s creepy:
This is a prime example of one of the worst kind of mascots you can find to associate your brand with. Let’s associate our healthy subs with a rat that is seen in sewers and causes plagues! Who wants to see rats at all, nonetheless near food? They aren’t even good-looking rats either. They have human teeth and deformed eyes. Yummy. The one in the foreground also has a top hat. I’m telling you, top hats are dangerous. What if you saw this at your local pet store or adoption center? Yeah, you’d run away from its sheer creepiness.
2.) Ronald McDonald
Why he’s creepy:
Ronald McDonald is a clown. He has red hair. He has a pale white face. He wears stripes and a yellow jumpsuit. He loves children. His statue is on benches near McDonald’s restaurants, prompting people to go ahead and take a picture with him or to “pretend” to do various sexual acts to his statue. We all know that if you needed to hire a clown for your child’s birthday, you would NOT be calling Ronald McDonald. His earlier incarnations are just as creepy as the current one. Who knows, if McDonald’s does take over the world, then he might be our new national symbol.
1.) The King
Why he’s creepy:
Ronald McDonald had been the top creeper until recently, when Burger King revealed The King. He is everywhere. He was in the NFL. He is even besides your bed waiting until you awake. Go ahead and try it, if you don’t understand how creepy that is. Just have someone come into your room before your alarm goes off wearing the King outfit and see what you do. I bet you won’t have smiles and giggles on your face. They even sell The King Halloween masks to scare little children with! The King, by far, is the creepiest mascot of all time.
Image Sources:
