The most exciting time of the year for kids when they don’t receive presents is undoubtedly Halloween. Dressing up and getting candy is such a whirlwind for them that it continues into adulthood, except it’s called dressing slutty at that point. If you want your child to be the center of attention at their classroom Halloween party, try one of these on for size.
1.) Air Freshener
Nothing says “My kid smells like shit” more than dressing him or her up as an air freshener.
2.) Turkey
Hey, come eat my kid. There may or may not be stuffing included with child.
3.) Roadkill
I value my child the same as I value that possum I ran over the other day.
4.) Pinata
Hit my child and see what comes out!
5.) Alien chestburster
Nothing I love more than scarring a child for life by having them think an alien will burst out of their chest, especially if they are a girl.
6.) Rapper
Yeah, my child smacks bitches and makes it rain. What does yours do?
7.) Terrorist
Please release your son to the proper authorities.
8.) Lobster Dinner
What’s with the whole “eat my child” concept? Did I miss something?
9.) Little Hitler
When I’m older, I hope I get to see my child walk across the graduation stage, get married, and commit genocide upon millions.
10.) Little Pimp
See #6 Rapper.
11.) KKK Kid
Again, please report your child to the proper authorities. Thank you.
12.) Toilet
Have you met my son, the piece of shit?
13.) Baby Moneybags
This brand new, barely used baby available to the highest bidder.
